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     Andhramass Bewarse Legend Username: Andhramass Post Number: 53816 Registered: 07-2006 Posted From: 203.6.146.5 Rating: N/A |
Hi Friends, I had written this in the domestic violence thread started by Anitap.I got few responses on this as few ladies could relate to it and it helped them to analyze their situation better. As this could have got overlooked by few i decided to post this as a new thread to help many woman understand and relate to their experiences. Hope you approve moderator  We might come across people who say why didn't you leave your husband in the first place when he raised his hands on you ? And the answer is "Its not that easy". An abusive person is like a parasite who first studies you more than yourself. He would ask you many questions and would also empathize on many occasions. These tricks of an abuser will make you confide in him and confess many things, but these confessions will always be targeted against you . An abuser very well knows to confuse you with series of sweet and rude cycle. At one point of time he may turn very violent and the other moment he many treat you like a princess. These erratic and irrational changes obfuscates the victim emotionally to take decisions. The first and the foremost shot of an abuser is on the self esteem and confidence of the victim.He will always break it . He studies his victims so well that he is very well educated with the psyche of his victim. The cycle continues and you are simply stuck in a catch 22 situation. For further help let me explain this to you with the help of a cycle know as the abuser's/manipulator's cycle : 1. He will look for incidents to threat/abuse/coerce the victim. This is the planning stage where the victim is very unaware of whats going in the abuser's mind. 2. He will execute his plan and this is accompanied with physical/mental/emotional and verbal assaults. 3. The abuser exhibits a sense of happiness as he achieves his goal to maintain fear and control on his victim. 4.Then comes the calm situation where the abuser apologizes for his act and states " Things will be different next time". He also trickles a sense of guilt in the victims mind for his act. 5.Here comes the honeymoon period where the abuser will do anything to make you happy . And i mean anything. This is a very vicious cycle which can happen in a days/week or probably months time. This behavior destroys the self esteem of the victim to the core.You are nothing but a piece of log. He gradually executes his plans to cut the support system of the victim.Imagine where the victim will go ? It can happen to anybody from any class in the society. Woman in the poor income group seek financial security ,woman in the middle income group fear society,and woman in the upper income group seek emotional security. Its a bad bad world for woman . Sometimes i feel a woman should get hold of her emotions . We should learn to think more logically . Courage and bravery should be part of every girls basic upbringing. It is happening across the world to so many woman that it becomes unimaginable.I wish every woman to understand her worth and live life in her own terms and conditions. anni dananallo Annadanam Minna lal salam |