    
Smart
Bewarse
Username: Smart
Post Number: 1302
Registered: 03-2004
Posted From: 207.199.2.34
| | Posted on Friday, October 15, 2004 - 2:24 pm: |    |
Rules for Men by Men
================
It is important for men and women alike, and
should form part of a relationship contract....
Finally, the guys' side of the story.
We always hear "the rules" from the female side.
Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules! Please note: these are all
numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
1.Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or
the changing of the tides.Let it be.
1.Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never
going to think of it that way.
1.Crying is blackmail.
1.Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this
one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do
not work! Obvious hints do not work!.............Just say it!
1.Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to
almost every question.
1.Come to us with a problem only if you want
help solving it.That's what we do. Sympathy is what
your girlfriends are for.
1.A headache that lasts for 17 months is a
problem. See a doctor.
1.Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible
in an argument.In fact,all comments become null
and void after 7 days.
1.If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret
girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera
guys.
1.If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.
1.If something we said can be interpreted two
ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or
angry, we meant the other one.
1.You can either ask us to do something or tell
us how you want it done. Not both. If you already
know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1.Whenever possible, please say whatever you
have to say during commercials.
1.Christopher Columbus did not need directions
and neither do we
1.ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows
default settings.Peach,for example, is a fruit,
not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.We have no
idea what mauve is.
1.If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
1.If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing,"
we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you
are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
1.If you ask a question you don't want an answer
to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1.When we have to go somewhere, absolutely
anything you wear is fine.....Really.
1.Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless
you are prepared to discuss such topics
cricket, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.
1.You have enough clothes.
1.You have too many shoes.
1.I AM in shape. ROUND is a shape.
1.Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I
have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know
men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
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